ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
