So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
