He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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