Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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