Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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