: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
