I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
