is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
