i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
My cat gives me a boner
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I'm too high and old for this...
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
