I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
