I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
