did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
