its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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