did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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