Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Randomize
