when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
We had to coat check the pizza.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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