Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
