i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
