Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
