i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
