winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
