he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize