onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
someone owes me an orgasm
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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