Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
