I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
