I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
