Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
