She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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