i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Randomize
