I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
