Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
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