The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I have post one night stand depression
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