if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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