i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
