Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
