It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Acid is not a monday night drug
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
