come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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