11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
