So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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