Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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