i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
