obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
false alarm. still invincible.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
