All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Randomize
