'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
