Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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