so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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