Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
