if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
You made out with two different species that night
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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