I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
