me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
