My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Is her dick bigger than yours?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
