She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
did you just send me my own nude
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
