I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I hate all girls vehemently.
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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