I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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