Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Farmville is her only friend.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Randomize
