Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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