a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
So. Much. Porn.
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