So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
